


Exchanging Thoughts, Exchanging Hearts

by lampostOdyssey



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-12-03
Updated: 2012-02-15
Packaged: 2017-10-26 19:46:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/287172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lampostOdyssey/pseuds/lampostOdyssey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat Vantas was the lowest of the low. As a mutant-blood, he was shunned from society, and forced to juggle several jobs just to pay the rent.</p><p>Whilst working part time as a janitor for his local high school, an exchange of notes occurs between him and a mysterious girl he's never met, and he begins to find a reason to carry on.</p><p>Jade Harley appeared, like a coin returning to Earth after being flipped, landing in Karkat’s life, with its head facing upwards. A little bit of luck, changing everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay let's get the ships straight here. It is mostly Jade <3 Karkat, and there's also Terezi <3 Dave and Kanaya <3 Vriska. John and Vriska are morails in this. Cool! I hope you enjoy it!

When it came to Karkat Vantas, everything seemed fast-paced.

From his speech, to his sketchy movements, he was always seemed out of focus. A step ahead. The way Karkat saw it, he needed to be.

When you’re a troll at the bottom of the spectrum, the lowest of the low, you can’t be dragging your feet. Karkat had been alone for almost all his life, living in the anus of the city. He and his few friends were each other’s levies; the only support they had.

So, his life was a cycle. Work for money. Buy food. Eat food. Caress the heads of his friends while listening to their insanely fucking manageable problems as if you didn’t have any your own. Keep working. And, of course, never sleep.

Karkat didn’t mind not sleeping, because he didn’t have the strength to face the nightmares. He could feel all of his fears building into a calamity at the edge of his vision, threatening to tear at his mind the moment he rested his head. But when he didn’t sleep, unhealthy thoughts threatened to embed themselves into his psyche. There was no escape. Either nightmares, or his own head.

Basically, the night just wasn’t a good time for him. His life was an inevitability, not a gift.  

But then Jade Harley appeared, like a coin returning to Earth after being flipped, landing in Karkat’s life, with its head facing upwards. A little bit of luck, changing everything.

~~~~

It was a warm afternoon in the crowded city, and Karkat Vantas was onto his sixteenth classroom. On Wednesday s, he stood in for the janitor at his local high school. It was a recent job he had acquired, when he heard that their usual janitor was requesting time off twice a week.

Karkat had only had the job for a little bit over a month now, but he’d already developed a routine. With his other jobs, he was constantly working hard, always looking for something to do. But after his first few shifts here, he’d realised that the place was just too big to do in a hurry. So the troll allowed himself to slow down a little. For the two hours he spent in the empty hallways, with the pink rays of fading sun dancing or the cream walls, he could relax. It was something he looked forward to in his weekly schedule.

It was in the third classroom on the second floor of the main building that he spotted the mobile. It was sitting on the desk next to the window. It was on _that desk_. He recognised it because it was where the note had been left a few weeks back, when some fucking asshole humans had decided to plaster the wall with sticky, clumped, wet, pages of their notebooks. He could tell it was a human girl by the note that had been written in squiggly, green, writing:

im really sorry about the mess…………. i tried to stop them I swear !!!  I hope it doesnt take too long to clean!!!! D:

He knew it wasn’t a troll, because most trolls decided to write with a stupid quirk for whatever reason.

At the time, Karkat had been tempted to rage quit because of the extra half hour he knew he’d have to endure cleaning the wall. The note was the only thing that kept him mildly calm. He’d just sucked it up and muttered curses to himself as he’d worked.

Karkat frowned at the phone. He could just leave it there, to be stolen or tossed out the window by the early arrivers the next day. _Get on with it,_ his head told him. But when the fuck had he ever been smart enough to listen to his head?

So he picked it up and stuffed it in his pocket, and then quickly borrowed some other student’s pencil and paper to scribble a note to the girl, whoever she was.

YOU SHOULD REALLY CONSIDERING NOT BEING A TOTAL IMBECILE BY FORGETTING TO BRING HOME YOUR FUCKING PHONE. BETTER BE FUCKING THANKFUL THAT I LEFT IT IN LOST AND FOUND AND DIDN’T STEAL IT LIKE A COMPLETE DOUCHE BAG.

He read over his work several times, and realised what an asshole he was. He sighed, deciding not to give a shit, and left it on the desk. It wasn’t like she’d ever meet the girl, and he wanted to quit this job as soon as they found another stand in. This little dilemma would be forgotten by next week.

So, once he’d finished his assigned cleaning duties, he made his way down to the car park, where Kanaya Maryam was waiting.

Kanaya Maryam. Her Jade blood allowed her to attend school, and to interact with humans and other trolls of her status and above. She was on the Student Council, which gathered after school on the days that Karkat worked, so she waited for him so they could go home together.

Kanaya was Karkat’s oldest friend. The law proposed that trolls and humans of all statuses could attend school together until they reached 13 years of age, or approximately 6 sweeps.

The two of them where in the same class for a few years. Karkat never socialised, and if anyone tried to socialise with him, he would jump on or bite them. But Kanaya had always been watching, from a distance.

When Karkat’s guardian died, he was 5. He dropped out of school. Kanaya was the only one that inquired about his missing presence. She appeared on his doorstep one day, stepping out of her middle-class neighbourhood, with its evenly shaded front lawns and pleasant greetings, into his dump of a suburb, with its cracked pavement on the sidewalks and painfully unkempt paint jobs on the houses. She didn’t give him much of a choice about barging into his home when he was mourning. She would cook for him when he wouldn’t eat, clean for him when his house become so messy that it looked as if herds of small creatures had taken shelter in his clothing heaps. He yelled at her to go away. She kept coming back. Eventually, he gave in and she became his shoulder to lean on.

It was years later and they were still extremely close. Kanaya technically shouldn’t even be talking to Karkat because of their clashing colours, but she ignored his persistent warnings. These kind of interactions were rare. Yellow and below were never truly accepted into society unless partnered with a human or someone with a higher status.  That was the law, and it was there to be obeyed.

“You’ve taken several additional minutes than your usual arrival time.” She said. “You’re more commonly than not waiting for me. Did something happen?”

“Well you’re the one who chose to wait, so I’ll take all the time fucking time I want.” Karkat said. Kanaya looked at him, and he shrugged. “What? I needed to drop something in to lost and found in the office. Some idiotic human girl left her phone on the desk so I had to turn it in.”

“How considerate. Such a gentlemanly act… not like you at all.” She replied. “Have you interacted with this girl before?”

Karkat rolled his eyes and got into the driver’s seat of his second-hand car. The orange coating was peeling and the cushioned seats were splitting at the seams. He, of course, didn’t have the money to get it repaired. It had cost him almost a year’s worth of savings to buy in the first place. Kanaya appeared beside him and closed the door, placing her bag neatly in her lap.

“Wow, now I need an explanation for doing something nice?” He retorted. “No, I have no fucking clue who she even is.”

“Where did you retrieve it from?” Kanaya asked.

“Third classroom on the second floor. The desk next to the window.” Kanaya raised her eyebrows at his immediate reply. “What?!”

“Nothing.” Kanaya smiled, sitting back in here seat. “I may know her, that’s all. The location which you described accommodates students from my year level. Which means that she’s a senior.”

“Look Kanaya, just drop it. I was feeling especially charitable today, so I decided to not be an asshole and turn in someone’s lost phone. Woo fucking hoo. No big deal. Let’s just forget it, alright?”

Kanaya was still grinning when she exited his car when he stopped at her house. He was receiving many glares from passers-by because of the unhealthy groaning of the engine. After her exit, she leaned into the open window to bid him farewell.

“I’ll call you tonight.” She said. “And don’t forget, we’re having lunch with Sollux after your shift at The Veil next Saturday, so don’t rush away immediately afterwards, alright?”

Karkat nodded; she had mentioned several times since they’d made the plans. There was a miniscule chance that he could forget. But Kanaya Maryam wasn’t one to leave things to chance.

~~~


	2. Chapter 2

He had, as a matter of fact, planned to forget the incident with the note ever happening. By Saturday, when he had met Kanaya for lunch, it had faded almost completely from his memory. He’d expected the girl to be thankful, and get on with her life.

So the next Wednesday, when he saw a note sitting on the table, folded neatly with a little sticker on the edge, he was more than surprised. It had taken him a moment to recall the last time he’d seen a note waiting for him. But when he did remember, he propped his broom against the cleaning trolley and strode over to the desk. He frowned at how neatly the edges had been folded, before sliding his finger under the glittery star to free the flap, and unfolded it.

oh thank you so much! i was really worried about it……. my grandpa would have killed me!!! i hope you didnt look through any of my texts hehe XD

Karkat stared at the note, reading over it several times. He was puzzled. Hadn’t he called her an imbecile for leaving it behind in the first place? The troll searched his pocket for a bit of paper, and could only find a receipt. He flattened it out and flipped it over. After pulling the same stolen pencil from last time from his pants, he replied. 

WHAT. WHAT THE FUCK, WHY WOULD I LOOK THROUGH YOUR TEXTS? ONLY A PATHETIC LOSER WOULD DO SOMETHING THAT SHALLOW. AND THAT’S OKAY. I AM THE JANITOR SO IT IS MY JOB TO CLEAN UP AFTER PEOPLE WHEN THEY DO STUPID FUCKING STUFF LIKE LEAVING THEIR PHONES AT SCHOOL.

He left the note on the table, face down. Karkat was about to move on to the next classroom, when he glanced back at the desk, with the original note she had left still sitting there.

He bit his lip momentarily, before quickly walking over to retrieve it. He tucked in it his pocket, and was astoundingly aware of its presence for the rest of the afternoon.

This time, during the car trip with Kanaya, he didn’t mention anything.

When he got home, he locked the door behind him and dropped his keys on his kitchen bench. He reached into his pocket and he pulled out the note.

“… What the hell am I doing.” He said to himself, and he laughed. “It’s just a stupid fucking note! Why the hell are you so attached to a little piece of paper, huh?”

He scrunched the paper into a ball and slammed it into the bin, making a dramatic exit into the bathroom for a shower. _Human girl. No big deal._

The note sat scrunched next to yesterday’s leftovers for exactly twenty two minutes before Karkat fished it out of the trash. He spent the next ten minutes flattening it out with his hands, and then holding it up to the light to make sure the sauce hadn’t smudged the letters, and that the words were still visible. He took the note to his room.

He placed it on his desk.

And then, his bedside table.

After dinner he retrieved it once more and put it in his drawer with a load of other crap.

Finally, after a brief and jumpy talk with Kanaya over the phone, Karkat pinned it to his board. Stepping back, he crossed his arms and nodded at his brilliance. Everyone pins things to boards. Totally normal.

He dropped his head and sighed.

As he crawled into bed, he questioned his sanity.

 

~~~

Jade Harley gave a glorious stretch when she awoke. She pulled back the covers of her bed, and jumped across her room to glance out her window.

The sky was violently blue for so early in the morning, but that just made her smile.

It was Thursday.

She dressed accordingly for the pleasant weather, in a casual dress appropriate for school, and scurried downstairs. Her grandpa was nowhere to be found; probably in the study shining his rifles. But his tradition of a ready-made breakfast on school morning went on, unfailing.   

She flung her bag over her shoulder, left the house with a spring in her step, and began on her trek to school.

Jade Harley, a human of marginally fair status, tried to keep a simple view of life. She did as she was told; finished her school work on time, tidied the house for her grandpa, and kept her dreams for the future in solid focus.

She had a present dream as well, though. That dream was Dave Strider.

Jade’s crush on the boy went back many a year, to when they were both new to school. Their friendship transcended definition; from the beginning their personalities had seemed to simply… fit. She had plenty of friends, of course; John, Rose, and several trolls that attended her same school. But with Dave, things had always seemed different.

She had a hard time with her family, believe it or not. Jade loved her grandpa, but he spoke down to her, and made her feel as if she wasn’t what he’d asked for, and as if her best just wasn’t good enough. It killed her inside, when he looked at her that way. With an excruciating expression of disappointment.

But Dave… Dave could build her up when she was at her lowest. A few words, and she was above the clouds. She felt like she owed it all to him.

That’s why Thursday, this Thursday, was so particularly special. Today was Quadrants Day. What better day to ask a girl out? Plus, Dave had been hinting it all week. _Not usually excited for Quadrants Day, but this year I’m kind of physced,_ he said. _I just have a feeling it’s gonna be pretty special._ Just the thought made her smile.

She skipped through the school gates, and spotted John from across the lot, jogging towards her. No time to talk now, though! She had someone to see.

“Jade stop! I need to talk to you it’s impor-“

“Can’t, John! I’ll talk to you soon, though, I promise!” Jade said, as she jotted past him, and up the stairs. _Meet me at my locker as soon as you arrive, alright?_ His text had confirmed her suspicions. She giggled quietly to herself. She was sure this was the start of something special.

Jade turned the corner with velocity, but stopped in her tracks at the scene before her.

Dave was pressed up against the lockers by the curvy body of Terezi Pyrope, and she was walking her sharp, troll fingernails up his chest. She whispered something to him, and Dave smirked. He had eyes only for the enigmatic troll, and he pulled her softly into a kiss.

At this, a gasp escaped Jade’s mouth, and the two turned to look at her. She could see Dave’s expression falter as he pushed the troll off him.

“Shit, Jade I…” He took a step towards her, but Jade could only shake her head. She turned on her heels, and sprinted away. Down the corridor. Up the stairs. Away, away, _away._ She held it all in as she ran, breathing so heavily that her throat burned, and chest hurt.

When she was sure she was far enough that Dave wouldn’t follow, she stopped, and fell against the wall next to a row of lockers. She allowed her back to slide down the white paint, until she was crouched in a sitting position, holding her knees close to her chest, as if to protect her. Escape, however, was impossible, for the image was etched into her mind.

Jade Harley began to cry. It began with unstoppable sobs, constantly breaking the silence of the empty halls. The tears rolled fast after that. She hated this feeling, of not being in control of her own emotions. She cursed herself for believing he could love something like her. She was too simple for his taste. How could she have been so _stupid?_ It was obvious Dave liked Terezi, but she refused to see it. And now it was all catching up to her, her ignorance.

How could she beat that? Terezi was passionate, and defined. Jade was simple, and broken. But what hurt the most was knowing that he’d never see her in such as light that shined on Terezi, in his eyes.

After a while, the crying died down, and she simply leaned against the wall in silence, her face numb, and cold.

“Hey, Jade.” A familiar voice said. She felt John slide down next to her, and give her a concerned look. “I’m so sorry. I was trying to tell you before …”

Jade wiped her nose with end of her sleeve, and leaned her head against John’s shoulder.

“Vriska rang me last night. She said that Terezi and she had made a bet to both ask out the ones they had a crush on. Something about ‘eternal shame if they failed’… Anyway, I knew that Terezi would ask Dave out so…” John sighed. “I’m sorry Jade! I should have gotten to you sooner.”

Jade shook her head, and managed a weak smile. “It’s not your fault, John. Really, I don’t blame you at all!”

 “Maybe you should go home for the day, Jade!” He suggested. “I’ll cover for you.”

“Don’t be silly!” She replied, in a marginally croaky voice, as the school bell rang, signalling the beginning of classes. Students began to flood the halls, and Jade felt her stomach clench, in fear of having to face any of her classmates. She needed to fall apart in someone’s arms; she would have allowed John to comfort her, but that was against her morals. She was the one who needed to be strong. It was Jade who was supposed to be there when something went wrong, with a box of tissues and shoulder to cry on. It was her job to immediately reply with a cheery “I’m okay!” every time someone inquired about her wellbeing.

That was the Jade Harley that all her friends knew. That was who she wanted to be. But she could feel that person fading, and on the verge of falling apart, she was no longer sure if she recognised the strength in her anymore.

But, with shaky legs, she picked up her bag and flung it over her shoulder. _Be strong, child._ Her grandfather’s voice spoke to her.

“I’m okay, John. Don’t worry about me.” She quickly pecked her best friend on the cheek, and disappeared into the crowd.

~~~


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I'm going to Vietnam on holiday soon, so I wanted to post one more chapter before I leave! There will be more when I return ;D

When something happened at home, Jade went into default. Put on a brave face, wipe away the tears, push the memory to the back of her mind until she wasn’t even sure it had truly happened. She knew this was unhealthy, denying the reality of the situation, but she told herself she’d face it later.  

Dave had been the only one who had been able to see through her default. She thought that was what had made him special.

But now, she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t smile, and pretend nothing was wrong. She went through the remainder of the day, almost oblivious, her face sullen. During break, she hid in the thing area between the two main buildings, where the grass was unkempt, and the weeds grew tall, hugging her knees to her chest.  

Jade new this wasn’t something she could forget; she needed to accept it sooner or later, that Dave had found happiness in someone else. This didn’t mean their friendship was over, right? She couldn’t continue avoiding him forever.

But for today, at least, she kept her distance.

Because of a double physics in the science building, and P.E on the oval, it wasn’t until last period that she arrived in her home room, a little early from lunch break so that she wouldn’t have any awkward interactions in the hallway.

It wasn’t until she’d wandered over to her desk, and dumped her books on it that she noticed the note. She flattened out the slightly crumpled paper, and read.

At first, she frowned. By the end of the short rant, she was fuming. She did _not_ want to deal with this right now; she had enough on her plate.

UHH!!!! OKAY SO BIG DEAL I MADE A MISTAKE YOU DONT HAVE TO KEEP GO ON ABOUT IT!!! why do even care youre just know some know it all old janitor! do you take pride in making torturing students? Is it some creepy little hobbie?? BACK OFF FUCKASS!!!

This was completely unlike her, to act out in such a way. But she needed to take out her anger on someone, and who better than someone she’d never meet.

~~~

Karkat new very well that real life was nothing like the movies, no matter how much he wished that it was. He’d seen enough, and experienced enough, to know that the security guard will not let you on the plane just because the love of your life is about fly away forever, and that when you wake up in the morning, your hair isn’t perfectly styled despite the fact that you just spent the last seven hours sleeping.

There was one thing that the movies were right about. The boss is always, _always_ crazy. They’re usually either a massive tool, or much too nice to be normal.

Karkat’s boss, at The Veil, was an entirely different kind of crazy.

No one had a clue as to how Gamzee Makara, a high blood, came to be the manager of The Veil café. Rumour had it that his guardian owned the Slime Pie industry, but Gamzee sought a life of simplicity. So he ended up here. If it wasn’t for Tavros, the place would have fallen apart a long time ago.

“Karkat, do you, uh, think maybe you could work an extra half hour? The place is getting pretty busy…” Tavros asked Karkat, minutes before he was due to get off his shift.

“What? No, fuck that. Get Gamzee of his lazy ass and for once in his meaningless existence get him to actually do something.” Karkat pulled of his apron roughly, but it got caught on his horn and he cursed several times. Once he’d distangled it, he chucked it on the bench, grabbed his belongings, and went to join Sollux and Kanaya.

This was a common happening. The three of them got together for lunch after his morning shift most Saturdays, if they could find a table, that is.

The Veil was one of the few places in the city, where everyone was welcome. Humans, low bloods, middle bloods; all could gather without worry of being shunned, or worse, arrested. It was the middle ground, the in-between. Every now and then, you’d even see Feferi Piexes and her possy, giggling on the back couches while the marshmallows in their hot chocolate slowly dissolved into little islands floating a top the warm liquid. Luckily, the other local high blood, Eridan Ampora, and his gang, steered clear of this place, to everyone’s delight. 

“You seem awfully jumpy today; even more so than usual.” Kanaya observed. “Is there something you wish to tell us?”

“What the hell was that in there, kk?” Sollux asked, completely disregarding Kanaya’s comment. Karkat blessed him in his mind, more than happy to not have to answer her. “With the wimpy kid?”

“Nothing.” He replied. “Just being a douche bad and wanting me to work over time. Not like this is one of the few times in an entire week when I’m not working at this pathetic dump.”

“Psh. What an ass hole.”

Karkat could see Kanaya in his peripheral vision, watching him intently. He ignored her the entire time. He wasn’t really sure why he wanted to keep the notes from her knowledge, but for now, at least, he thought it was best.

~~~

It was on the ride home from the less-than-satisfying lunch, that Kanaya mentioned her news. It was silent in the car, and Karkat was dreading the moment that she asked about the notes. He flinched every time she went to open her mouth.

“I ha-”

“Hey I love this song! Let’s listen to the entire eight minutes and two seconds of Led Zeppelin’s ‘Stairway to Heaven’ in complete silence!” Karkat interrupted purposely.

“Karka-”

“DUN DUN DA DUNN DUN DA!” Karkat sang the notes awfully off pitch, and painfully louder than necessary.

It happened awfully quickly after that. One moment, Karkat was ‘cranking it up to 11’, and the next, Kanaya had calmly and collectively jammed a pen into the stereo. Karkat swerved violently in surprise.

“Jesu- WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT KANAYA?!” He yelled once he’d regained control.

“Vriska Serket asked me to accompany her on a date.”

Karkat had a hard time focusing after she said this. He gaped, looking from Kanaya to the road, and back again. After the third double take, she could see a completely legitimate, sincere smile etched onto her face.

“Is that the one you’ve been crushing on since the third grade?” Karkat inquired, and Kanaya lightly slapped his arm, furiously blushing jade. After a moment, Karkat grinned. He couldn’t help it. Seeing his morail in such a state of happiness gave him an unfamiliar sense of joy.

“I’m happy for you, Kanaya.” His voice was, for once, marginally even.

“Thankyou.”

~~~

It was eight thirty, on Saturday night, and Jade Harley was surprised to find herself thinking about the notes.

Dave had been taken for three days now, and they still hadn’t spoken. But she was… okay. The first day, of course, had been numbingly painful. But since then, and after several long talks over the phone with John, she hadn’t found herself thinking about him much. In fact, he was barely ever the first thing on her mind.

She wanted to make up with Dave, of course, but more often than not, she found herself thinking about the exchanges with the janitor. She felt awful about what she’d written as a reply. He seemed friendly enough, despite his etchy handwriting and seemingly loud personality. So she had decided that when Monday comes, she’d write him a new letter. Hopefully he won’t have taken it just yet; he only seemed to come on Wednesdays.

Jade gave a little yelp and jumped when she heard a knock on her window, breaking the silence of her homework hour. Clutching her chest, she got up from her desk. Through the glass, she saw none other than Dave Strider, standing on the roof of the second floor, just outside her room. He was leaning over, with his hands in his pockets, and somehow still managing to keep his balance. She was lost for words, and stood there for a moment, gaping. Dave had his shades on, but she could tell that their eyes were locked, and he didn’t look away. Eventually, he spoke.

“Are you gonna let me in or what?” His words were slightly muffled, and Jade snapped out of her trance.

“O-oh, yes! Sorry…” Jade unhooked the lock, and attempted to lift the heavy window. Once she had it open slightly, Dave slipped his hand underneath and pulled it up in one go. Jade stood back, and Dave bounced into her room. He looked around momentarily, and then glanced at her.

“Hey.” He said smoothly. Jade smiled awkwardly.

“Hello.” She replied. “Um, how are you?”

“I’m here to talk.” He said suddenly, turning to her, and taking a step forward. “If that’s okay with you.”

Jade twiddled her thumbs, and took a seat on her bed.

“Actually, I was thinking the same thing.” Jade said. “I wanted to apologise, actually. For over-reacting.”

Dave shook his head.

“Please don’t.” He said, still wandering around her room, as if it was unfamiliar territory, and as if they hadn’t spent hours playing witches and knights in here when they were children. “I climbed the wall, I get to go first.”

Jade smiled. “Okay. Shoot.”

“I’m, uh, not too good at apologies, as you probably know…” Dave rubbed his neck. “But… well I’m sorry you had to find out about me and Terezi the way you did. It wasn’t fair…”

“Terezi and I.” Jade corrected him, and Dave smirked, obviously happy to have his speech interrupted.

“Yeah. Terezi and I.”

The room was silent for a moment, and Jade couldn’t help but smile. _Such a gentlemen._ She fell back on her bed, and heard Dave wander over to lie next to her. They both simply lay there for a few minutes.

“I remember all the sleep overs we had here, when we were kids.” Dave said. “Your grandpa always set up the mattress on the floor for me to sleep on but…”

“But we’d always make a tent out of the blankets in this bed, and then fall asleep next to each other.” Jade said, and giggled slightly. _He remembered_. She realised then how much the little things meant to her, and how desperately she never wanted to give that up. Dave was her best friend, and no troll was going to change that. Jade turned her body to face him, and leant her head on her arm to hold herself up.

“I accept your apology, by the way.” She said. “I’m too cool for you anyway.”

Dave chuckled, mimicking her movements.

“It’s true.” He replied. “How could I ever live up to the expectations of a Harley? My shades can never match your Elton John glasses. It’s just not possible.”

Jade hit Dave with a pillow. “Hey! Mine are way better than Elton John’s! How could you even compare it?”

Dave was chuckling when he got up to leave a good hour later. Jade sat up, nudging him. As he passed her desk, he stopped and picked up something; the first note. She’d kept it, even though she wasn’t completely sure why. She watched Dave read it, and he turned to her.

“What’s this?” He asked. Jade stood, and walked over to him, taking the note, and folding it.

“Nothing, really.” She replied. “Just a note from someone. Now get out of here lovebird! I’m sure someone’s waiting desperately for you to call her up!”

Dave looked suspicious as he jumped out her window. But he seemed to get over it, and smiled at her. “See you, Harley.” He said, before climbing down the side of her house.

Once he was out of sight, she lay on her bed, unfolded the note, and stared at it for a little while. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, sorry I haven't updated in a while, I've been away! But now I'm back, and I'm ready to continue writing :) i feel really bad for making "grandpa" aka JAKE a bad guy in this story because he's such a sweety in the story but WHAT CAN I DO anyway, enjoy!

Karkat approached his car breathing hard, and muttering aggressively. Kanaya was already sitting patiently in the passenger’s seat when he entered the door, hard. He backed out of the school car park, and his state of fury, he managed to hit two trash cans in one swerve.

“I must request you slow down, otherwise I’m afraid you’ll see to it that both of us are dead by the end of this trip.” Kanaya said to him. “I can see you’re angry, but I think it would be best if you tell me what’s going on instead of taking it out on your precious car, don’t you think?”

Karkat gripped the steering wheel tightly, barring his teeth. He didn’t trust himself to speak, so he stuffed his hand into his pocket, and proceeded to throw a crumpled piece of paper into Kanaya’s lap; it was the latest note from his mysterious pen pal.

Kanaya eyed it curiously.

“Would this be… a continuation of the mobile happening?” She asked slowly, forming her words particularly carefully.

“Yes it fucking is, okay?” Karkat replied sharply, his face hot. “But trust me, you don’t have to worry about it happening ever again. There’s no way I’m replying to that stupid, worthless, stupid, human.” He gave a hollow laugh. “That’s what I get, I suppose! I try to be nice, and _that’s_ what I get in return. Please, announce it to the world! Karkat fucking Vantas attempted not being an asshole, and as karma, some human got a vat of steaming hot jello and…”

As he was ranting, Kanaya had flattened the crinkled paper, and skimmed what had been written. She raised her eyebrow at Karkat, who was yelling furiously and flailing his arms about whilst still managing to keep control of the car.

“Is this the reason you have recently acquired toxicity toward the girl?” She interrupted, and Karkat turned to her.

“Of course it fucking is! Look what she wrote, she might as well have taken a shit on my face.”

Kanaya frowned, and read the note aloud.

“ ‘Hey, me again. I’m sorry about what I wrote, and was hop-’ “

The car lurched forward. The screech of the tires could be heard clearly as it came to an abrupt stop. Even Kanaya, poised and practical, was caught off guard by the action, and found herself wife eyed with surprise as she straightened her dress.

“What!?” Karkat yelled, snatching the note from Kanaya’s grasp. “That’s not what it said…”

He turned the note over and saw the original message he had read. On the other side, however, was an apology.

hey, me again. im really sorry about what I wrote, and was hoping maybe we could start over??? i feel terrible, and i know i was out of line. truce? O:

Karkat stared at it for a while, his breathing slowing to a normal pace, and his shoulders slowly relaxing. He ran a finger over the paper; it was soft from being handled to such an extent.

Once again, Karkat saw two path ways in front of him. The first entailed leaving all of this behind; forgetting the girl and the mild excitement her notes had brought him. Or reply, and embark on something entirely new. Pursue this strange, unfamiliar feeling he received every time he saw her squiggly writing, sealed with a sticker.

He sighed, folding the paper this time, and replacing it in his pocket. Karkat put the car in reverse, and did a u-turn. Kanaya said nothing to him as they travelled back to the school they’d just come from, but he could sense her smirk.

SO, UH, I GOT YOUR NOTE. OBVIOUSLY. SEEING AS I’M REPLYING… ANYWAY, I GUESS I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY TOO. SO, I’M FUCKING SORRY FOR BEING A DICK OR WHATEVER. YOU MIGHT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT IF YOU WANNA ‘START FRESH’. WHICH I WANT TO AS WELL, EVEN THOUGH IT SEEMS LIKE A WASTE OF TIME TO ME. MY NAME’S KARKAT. VANTAS. AND JUST SO YOU KNOW, I’M NOT SOME OLD JANITOR. I’M ONLY SEVENTEEN. LIKE YOU… RIGHT?

As he left the note on her desk and departed the classroom for the second time, he prayed that this was enough to show the girl that he was willing to build on this, whatever it was.

On his way back to the car, however, he was stopped in his tracks by a figure blocking his path. The man was no taller than Karkat, who was short for his age, and his hair was slicked back with enough gel to gloss a floor. In his mouth was an oversized cigar, which made Karkat wonder if that was the cause of his painfully, unhealthily, pale face. His clothes screamed ‘sophistication’, but the way he stood, despite his obvious pride, was menacing. Karkat was wary of him; he could tell the man was all business. The man’s feigned smile frustrated him, as did his smooth, creamy, voice.

“Principal Scratch.” He stated, sticking out his hand. Karkat took it after a moments hesitation. “Mr Vantas, I believe?”

“Yeah, that’s me.” He said, frowning.

“I’m glad I caught you.” Scratch said, breathing out rings of smoke in his face. Karkat waved them away, promising not to give this guy the satisfaction of him coughing.

“Is there something you want? Or do you just enjoy giving your employees cancer?” Scratch gave a slight chuckle at this.

“There is, as a matter of fact. As you may not know, our previous janitor has retired, and we require you to take on full duties instead of your current part time work.”

“What the fuck?!” Karkat took a step back. “No way! When I took on this job, they told me it wouldn’t last more than one month!”

“Situations can change, if you hadn’t realized, Mr Vantas.”

“You can’t force me to do this, No. No way. I don’t want to end up a dump like this cleaning hallways for the rest of my life.”

“You’re a mutant blood, do your really expect anything else?” Scratch said, and smiled when he saw he’d offended him. “You should be honoured that someone like me is even speaking to you in person.”

Karkat opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t manage to form a sentence. He tightened his lips. He would have to quit his other jobs. There would be longer hours, and less time for his friends. But on the plus side, his weekends would be free; this job only required him on working days. And… he would get to exchange with his human girl almost daily. His eyes lit up at this thought, and he took an inward breath. The side of his lip twitched into a slight grin. Karkat was sure not to let Scratch see this.

“Better get a fucking pay rise.” He mumbled.

Scratch didn’t look at Karkat as he took a step towards him, and in a silent movement, pressed the end of his cigar into the troll’s shoulder. In the single moment it was in contact with his skin, the principal whispered to him:

“I wouldn’t speak like that to the man who signs your cheque.”

Karkat pulled away from him.

“Argh, fuck!” He said, pressing his hand against the blistering burn. “You psychotic arse!”

By the time Karkat had yelled his curse, Principal Scratch was already walking away, hands behind his back.

“I trust you’ll be here tomorrow, then?” Scratch’s voice echoed thinly from down the hall.

It wasn’t a question.

~~~

A great sense of relief washed over Jade when she read the reply the next day.

“Karkat Vantas.” She said aloud.

Jade bit the side of her lip, grinning. It felt natural to her; eased off the tongue nicely. The same age as her, too. A certain sense of equality washed over her at this thought, and she scribbled her reply.

yeah that’s right! seventeen a few months ago :) my names jade harley, it’s a pleasure to meet you karkat!!!

~~~

As the months passed by, on the outside, Karkat Vantas stayed the same. He didn’t grow taller, his hair remained constantly dishevelled, and his posture still established hunched shoulders wherever he would go.

But on the inside, he was changing.

It was as if the constant burden of his life was slowly being lifted. He became less aware of the pain in his stomach that reminded him of his blood colour. He usually felt heavy; like his hate for himself was weighing him down. But lately, he felt light. He could ignore the nag that said ‘you will never be good enough’, because finally there was someone that he believed when they told him he was.

He didn’t know why Jade Harley was different, or why she could make him feel the way he did. They had exchanged many a note in those weeks. Karkat poured his heart and soul into those letters, that he slipped inside the crevice underneath the window pane so that no one else could find him. And now, Jade knew everything, about his past, his present; and she seemed to be changing his aspirations for the future.

He wasn’t sure if she felt like he did, but from what she wrote, from Karkat’s point of view, it felt like it. She told him about her grandpa, and their complicated relationship. She told him about a kid named Dave, who sounded like a douchebag to Karkat. He didn’t know why, but what he had with Jade felt more real than anything he’d ever experience. Even more so than his friends that were physical, visible, beings. It was like his whole life had been a nightmare that he was finally waking up from. He kept each note pinned to his board. They were the only proof that Jade was even real.

He thought about her often; what she may look like, how she may act… the way her lips might feel… but three months after the first note, when she finally suggested meeting, Karkat froze. He wasn’t ready for this. Although he physically ached to meet her, he was scared of what she may think of him. What if she walked away? What if he wasn’t good enough for her?

He was scared of losing this little fantasy that was Jade Harley. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave just can't catch a break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I know this chapter is short, but I wanted to put something up before I go away! This chapter was supposed to be longer and more "important" if you know what I mean, but I never got the chance to finish it, so I'm putting up what I did manage and when I get home next week, I'll put up the rest! Sorry!!!!!

“Where do you want this, Harley?” Dave asked.

“Oh, just dump it next to the others!” She told him, pointing at a slowly growing pile of cardboard boxes. She was sitting cross-legged on the ground in a white, summer dress, and even though her hair was tied with a band, it still fell down her back softly. She was folding a dauntingly large pile of clothes. He did as she told him, and stretched his arms, glancing around the room.

It was a warm, sunny afternoon at Jade’s residence, and Dave was assisting with her moving of bedrooms. She was moving from the small, stuffy, room she’d owned since before he could remember, to the guest room down the hall. It was considerably more spacious, and she was simply ecstatic to have finally been given permission.

It had been a while since they’d done anything together, due to recent happenings, so Dave had happily volunteered. Despite what Jade may believe, their friendship was important to him, and he didn’t want to lose it because of Terezi.

“What now?” He said awkwardly. Despite all the time he’d spent in Jade’s room, he still felt out of place in it. He looked out of place, too. Her room was dainty and organized, the walls lined with curios, collections of painting and the sort. Dave was an astounding contrast to it all. She turned to him, puckering her lips.

“Hmm… I suppose you can get to work on the desk?” She suggested.

“Sure thing, Harles.” He replied, and Jade smiled.

“I really appreciate you helping me out, you know! I can’t thank you enough.”

“S’no big deal.” He said, chucking numerous pencils, erasers, and work books into another box at his feet, with the word ‘DESK’ scribbled in thick, black, marker. Next to her long line of novels, Dave spotted something familiar. He chuckled, and although they were slightly dusty, he picked them up.

They were two little dolls, no bigger than his hand, that his brother had custom made for the two of them years ago. One was a witch, dressed all in black save her striped stockings and shoes, which had been almost stripped bare of their red sequins over time. The other, a red knight, with a cape that had always been Dave’s favourite aspect of it. It was holding a sword so crappy that it had broken in the first week of playing with them.

“You still have these old things?” He said. Jade squinted to see what he was holding, and laughed.

“Oh, I completely forgot about those!” She said, and sighed. “Do you want to keep them? Because otherwise, I’m throwing them out.”

Dave was caught off guard by this. Jade? Throwing out a memorabilia? That was unlike her; she was usually into keeping heirlooms with sentimental value that gave you a sense of nostalgia and all that jazz. He frowned, feeling a pull in the pit of his stomach at the way she cast them aside so easily.

“Really? You don’t want them?”

“Well, not really! They’re not much use to me now, and I have to be brutal with what I keep. I want my new room to be spacious!” At the word ‘spacious’, she hugged her arms, closed her eyes, and smiled, like she could already taste the freedom in her mouth.

“But, jeez… really?” He sighed. “Well whatever, they’re your toys…” He dropped them on the ground next to the ‘CHARITY’ box, and continued with his original task. Not too long afterwards, Jade jumped up, and stretched. Dave noticed the indentations on her skin from where she’d been kneeling in the carpet. It was really the only flaw to her skin, he realised. He remembered when she was younger, she’d had eczema, but a lot had changed since then. Staring at her, with her arms stretched into the air, and her natural smile on her lips, Dave saw that she wasn’t the chubby little kid with a skin condition and constantly blocked nose anymore. She was slim now, and he could see her curves in the waist-hugging dress she wore. But he saw more than this. It was her happiness.

Jade had always been happy, but he could tell the difference between her honest and fake smile. She usually put it on, for the others around her. But lately, it was always real. And he knew it wasn’t because of him. Now that they weren’t spending so much time together, he noticed how much he’d loved making her smile, that real, honest, smile. But now… someone _else_ was making her happy. And Dave didn’t like that at all.

“God, it’s hot. I’m gonna get us some lemonade!” Jade stated. “You want a glass, right?”

Dave nodded, and as soon as she left the room, Dave strode over to those two dolls, picked them up, and placed them into his bag, zipping it fully closed so that Jade wouldn’t see.

It was while he waited for her that he found the notes. They were in the second drawer down of her desk, and it was full to the brim with all these small squares of paper. There was nothing else in there except the notes; it was a flurry of white receipts and corners of newspapers, pages of books and post-its. On all of them were scribbled messages.

Dave frowned at first, and he picked one up. The lines where it had been folded were like contours working their way across the page. After reading it twice over, something in his mind nudged a memory into his view, of almost months ago now, where he had found something quite familiar. She had told him it was nothing at the time. He wondered if she had the same response now that he knew there were hundreds of them, if not more.

She returned with two glasses in hand, and flung the door shut with her hip.

“Here we go! Home-made, actually.” She popped the desk next to where he was standing. He didn’t touch it. “I didn’t have much to do yesterday, so-”

“What the fuck are these?” He said, and Jade stopped. She wasn’t facing him as she put her glass down next to her on the windowsill, and turned. When she saw what he was holding, she slowly released a breath.

“They’re notes.” Jade told him casually. Dave threw the note he was holding back into the draw.

“I think I deserve a bit more of an explanation.” He said through barred teeth. “Explain what the hell’s going on, Jade!”

“It’s none of your business!” She hissed. “I just- he’s a friend! A good one…”

“Fucking _hell_.” His voice was slightly raised now. Jade jumped at this.

“Why are you getting angry?! This doesn’t concern you, Dave. He's my friend.”

“Don’t give me that bullshit!” Dave ran his hands through his hair. “You’re my best friend and you’re talking to some random troll? He’s probably a freak, Jade! Be smart for fuck’s sake!”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m a child, Dave!” She yelled. “How do you even know he’s a troll?!”

Dave laughed, and pulled one of the notes out of the drawer. “Karkat Vantas? If that’s not a troll’s name, then I'll wear bloomers and hang myself from the school flag pole.”

 “You’re not my mother, you’re my friend! Right now though, I’m not sure if I want you to be! Karkat _is_ my friend, and I’m giving him my address. We are _meeting_. You can’t stop me, Dave!”

“I understand why your grandpa wanted a different kid. At least they’d have some common sense and not be a fucking idiot about this.”

When Jade didn’t reply to this, he looked over to her. Her face was more hurt then he’d ever seen it; more than when she’d found him and Terezi, more so than when she’d come to him because of what her guardian had said to her. He’d always been so pissed at her grandfather for making her feel the way she did; completely and utterly broken. And now he was the one breaking her.

“God, Jade, I didn-”

“Get the fuck out of my house Dave.” Her face was lined with anger, and she stared him straight in the eye. No escape from what he’d said, what he’d done.

He took a few steps towards her.

“I can’t-”

“Get OUT, Dave. I don’t want to look at you right now.”

His entire body ached with anger and regret. But he did as he was told.

~~~

hey karkat! i understand if youre kind of nervous about meeting… so am i actually!!! so, im not gonna pressure you into anything, but im giving you my address. its on the back. i trust you. just… if you ever wanna talk face to face, im here. ill… wait for you, karkat. until youre ready (: 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I just realised that the weather in my fic doesn't make sense, because it's been summer for about half a year now... so let's pretend that there are only two seasons... winter and summer... shhh.....


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WOW OKAY LONG CHAPTER IS LONG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus i didn't realise how long i made this chapter oops. hmm okay, well i wrote this very late at night, so forgive me if it makes no sense whatsoever. Please let me know if I made any typos which is extremely likely 0u0

Karkat appreciated Kanaya’s silence about the notes. He never mentioned it, and she barely ever did. It was usually just an update she wanted, to know If it was still occurring. But after receiving her actual _address_ , he needed someone to talk to. He was so unsure of what to do. And Kanaya, she never failed to amaze him at making the answer seem to obvious and simple, and make him feel painfully stupid. It was one of her many talents.

But her name was something he kept from her. Karkat wanted that to be something that was only his. 

“Well, why not?” Kanaya said, taking another sip of her tea. “You obviously like your girl, and she must like you if she has enough trust in you to grace you with her address.”

They were at The Veil for their weekly lunch, even though Karkat didn’t work there anymore, and he was clutching his icy soda like it was a million fucking dollars. Summer was vicious, and the days were not letting down their constant heat. They sat in one of the cushioned booths that lined the front window of the store. At the end of the line of booths was the door to the café, which Karkat was facing. Kanaya sat opposite him, looking thoughtful.

“It’s not that simple! I can’t just walk up to her door and say ‘so hey, I’m the janitor you’ve been talking to over stick-it notes for months now, wanna make out?’ It just doesn’t work that way, Kanaya.”

“So you do like her?” She said. “More than a friend?”

Karkat frowned, opening his mouth and closing it again, before sighing in defeat.

“I never said that but… yeah. I guess. It’s a possibility.” He mumbled, folding his arms. The side of Kanaya’s mouth twitched into a smile, and she licked her lips.

“Well, then my advice is, wait until you’re comfortable. She said she’ll wait for you; believe her. Don’t give up on your girl just yet.” Kanaya pleaded gently, as a bell sounded, signalling someone entering the café.

Karkat didn’t take any notice of the newcomer as she momentarily turned to them as she passed by, to greet Kanaya.

“Hey, Kanaya!” She said. Kanaya gave a slight wave, and a friendly smile. Karkat barely glanced at her.  The girl moved on to the booth behind Karkat, and he looked at his moirail.

“Fucking God, do you know everyone that comes here?” He said. She shrugged in response.

“This is obviously the popular spot for my peers. She’s in my economics class.”

“No offence to little miss sunshine back there, but she’s a little too overenthusiastic for my liking.”

“Yes, that’s Jade Harley for you.”

Karkat’s heart skipped a beat. He froze, taking an inward breath. He couldn’t move. His skin tingled, and for a moment, the entire room blacked out so that it was only him, and the girl sitting directly behind him, his back to her.

It was like everything that had occurred during the past months was catching up to him. He could see all the notes, all his thoughts, his little fantasy, and the wall separating it from solid reality crashing down before him. He hadn’t even looked at her; she was right there, within his grasp, and he hadn’t even _looked at her_. But he’d heard her voice. Before it had been nothing, a sound; that was all. But now, he could hear it repeating in his head, over and over. It was light, and happy; or, maybe, not so much. She was faking it; he could tell. There was something beneath all that burdening her, a weight in her voice.

Her voice. Her. Jade.

_Jade Harley was sitting less than a metre away from him._

“Fu- holy- fucki-” He couldn’t form a word. He couldn’t _breathe._

“Karkat?” Kanaya had a rare look of worry on her face, and gently placed her hand on top of his. Her voice was muffled, and her touch was a cold one be could barely feel. When he felt a sharp pain on his face, everything came into focus quickly, and suddenly things were clear.

Karkat placed his hand against his throbbing face.

“Shit!” He ducked down, and spoke in a loud whisper. “Did you just slap me?”

“You were having a mental breakdown without my permission.”

“Kanaya, it’s her.”

Her face was still for a moment, as she stared at him. It took a few seconds for her mouth to form a circle, and her eyes to awaken with understanding.

“Are you trying to say that Jade Harley is your girl?”

“Yes! That’s her, that’s Jade! Fuck… what should I do… shit she’s right there.” He held his breath, and his eyes widened before he realised the inevitable. “I have to talk to her.”

“You want to talk to her?” Kanaya asked. “Now? She’s with someone, you realise.”

“But it’s _her!!!_ ” Karkat spat. Did she not understand how important this was to him? “Jade Harley is sitting right behind me, and you think I should just walk the fuck away? She has no idea it’s me!”

“I know, but-”

“You said just before I should go for it when I’m ready! Well, _I’m ready._ ”

“Yes, but I didn’t know it was Jade Ha-”

“Kanaya!” She must have heard the desperation in his voice, because she paused, and looked directly at him.

“Why do you feel so strongly about this?” She said, shaking her head slightly. “You said not a minute ago that she was ‘too overenthusiastic for your liking’.”

“I know what I said, and…” Karkat let out a breath, feeling utterly hopeless. “I don’t _know_ why, but I just… I have to find out if she’s everything I think she is.”

She looked pained at first. He understood the way she must have felt about this whole situation, because he was just as confused about it as she was. But the opportunity that was presenting itself was one he couldn’t let slip. He was surprised at his own courage, especially after the way he’d acted receiving her address, and the note suggesting they meet.

But now, that she was here, so _close_ , he couldn’t turn away.

Kanaya’s face slowly relaxed, and a smile formed on her face.

“Well, don’t let me keep you.” She said, and then glanced over Karkat’s shoulder. “She’s sitting right behind you, in the next booth.”

Karkat smiled thankfully at her, and stood carefully. Cautiously, he turned. The wall between booths was tall, so when his eyes darted to Jade, he only saw the top of her head, and her quaint hand resting on the table in front of her. Her hair was dark, and glossy, sitting lightly a top her face. He only had eyes for her as he took a step forward. Everything was moving slowly, and his heart was pumping so fast that it was all he could hear, beating rhythmically. Everything else was blocked out by the sound.

Jade was so close that he could have reached out and touched her…

When suddenly, he felt a hand wrap itself tightly around his upper arm, and drag him roughly backwards.

Karkat was so limp because of Jade’s presence that he couldn’t even look at who it was.

He couldn’t fight.

All he could do was watch as he was dragged further away from her, and as his dream became once again just that little bit out of reach.

~~~

Dave waited as patiently as he possibly could, sipping his soda at The Veil, while the bare parts of his legs that weren’t protected by his shorts stuck to the leather in the booth. He fidgeted uncomfortably. The heat was sticky, and he didn’t enjoy the sweat on his forehead caused by the heat.

But it wasn’t only the heat.

He was waiting for Jade, who had finally agreed to see him after a week of refusing to even talk to him. Dave was trying to form some sort of speech in his head, some way that he could possibly make up for what he’d said.

However, he couldn’t concentrate. Because across from him, behind the empty seat Jade would soon fill, were two trolls who weren’t exactly keeping quiet.

_Karkat._

He recognised the name immediately, and narrowed his eyes as he saw Jade approaching. She greeted the female, but obviously neither had any idea of the others’ identity yet; she barely took notice of _him_.

This was good. He still had time.

“This better be good.” She said, taking a seat, and Dave sat up straighter, determination flooding him.

“I’m really glad you agreed to come.” He said, keeping an eye on the booth behind her, struggling to fully concentrate. “Uh… what’s up?”

“What’s up?” She repeated, folding her arms. “That’s what you have to say? What’s _up_? My anger levels! I cannot believe what you said to me Dave. It really hurt my feel…”

He was struggling to listen to her unrelenting rant because from behind her, he saw a grey figure stand.

“Hey, let’s discuss this over some food, alright?” He interrupted, and she stopped, giving him a confused look. “My shout, okay?”

“Um, alright?” She replied, and Dave quickly slipped out of the booth, taking two steps forward and firmly grabbing the troll’s arm, pulling him forcefully backwards, and around the corner of the food counter.

The troll, “Karkat”, said nothing. He did nothing. Dave raised an eyebrow at his surprisingly mellow attitude at Dave’s physical interaction.

Once out of sight, he casually threw him against the wall, and finally, something in his eyes lit up, and refocused. His eyebrows furrowed, and he barred his teeth, glaring at Dave.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” He growled. “Get out of my way, ass wipe-“

He tried to step past him, but Dave pushed him back.

“You’re not going anywhere.” He said, his face expressionless. “Or at least, not anywhere near Jade.”

“Who the fuck are you to decide that?!” He demanded. “You don’t own her, you little piece of shit!”

Dave took his shades between two fingers, and slid them off his face. He stared at Karkat, straight in the eye, towering above him in every way possible, doing all he could to put him down to size.

“The name’s Dave Strider.” He said quietly, almost whispering, centimetres from his face. Karkat obviously knew the name, because his eyes widened and he opened his mouth slightly. Dave gave a wry smile.

“You’ve heard of me?” He chuckled. “Not surprised. She’s told you about me, hasn’t she? In your little letters.”

“Yeah.” Karkat replied, keeping his voice low. “From what I’ve heard, you’re a lying little fuck head. You don’t deserve to even be friends with her.”

“How would you know? You’ve never even met her.” Dave said. “And if you know what’s good for you, you never will.”

“You can’t just-”

“Stay away from Jade Harley.” He warned menacingly. “Or we’ll be seeing each other very soon.”

He replaced his glasses on his face, and ordered two bowls of fries. He left the troll cowering against the wall, where he belonged.

As he walked back to join Jade, the female troll gave him a look. It wouldn’t have appeared to be aggravating, but it stirred something in him, and Dave was surprised at how powerful she could make a single look be.

When he took a seat opposite Jade again, over her head Dave saw Karkat angrily pulling the door open. Just before storming out, they locked eyes, and Dave could tell he’d crushed him. He’d done his job. Jade’s little friend strode out the door hopelessly.

Satisfied, Dave looked back at Jade.

“Alright, let’s talk.”  

~~~

As summer drew to a close, the temperature took no time to plummet from numbingly hot to even, and calm, but as Karkat waited for Kanaya to pick him up from outside his house, he knew it wouldn’t take long for the cold months to take a firm hold.

The sun was setting when she arrived, in her new sleek, blue, vehicle.

“Pizza? Really?” She criticised, as he closed the door and balanced the box on his knees. “I told you to get flowers, not a meal with enough grease to soak the ‘Mona Lisa’.”

“No, flowers are dumb.” He said. “She likes pizza. Pizza is good. Pizza is a conversation starter, right? Oh shit… pizza is too pushy, isn’t it? It says ‘I want to share a pizza with you’. What if she doesn’t want to share a pizza with me?! Oh god, I should have just listened to y-”

“Karkat, relax.” Kanaya said, placing a hand on top of the pizza box before he could throw it out the window as it appeared he had planned to. “You’re right, pizza is… nice.”

Kanaya began to drive, and Karkat tried to breathe as evenly as possible. It had been a week since he’d had the pleasure of meeting ‘Dave Strider’, and he probably wouldn’t even be in the car if it weren’t for Kanaya.

 “You won’t tell me what happened, no I have no idea what went on in the café the other day. But one thing I do know is that I’ve never seen you more excited about anything in all the years I’ve known you.” She had said. “Behind all that excessive sweating for nerves, of course. Now I’m not going to let you give up on her just because of one little mishap.”

And so here he was. Kanaya had always had very convincing arguments. And quite a forceful will when she put her mind to something.

“So, do you know what you’re going to say to her?” She asked. “Do you have anything planned?”

“No…” Karkat admitted. “I was hoping to just wing it.”

Lie.

He’d spent hours last night attempting to create some sort of introduction. It hadn’t exactly worked out.

“Alright.” She nodded, as she turned another corner. “Shall I wait for you, or is it best if I come back when you call me?”

“I, uh… hadn’t really thought about it.” He replied. “I’ll just text you. What is up with you?”

“What exactly do you mean?” She said. “I’m just helping out.”

“Yeah, that’s an understatement. You basically chose my outfit for me.”

“I just want you to be happy. Is that a problem?”

“No, but you’ve never been this set on trying to make something work out before. Usually it’s ‘Gee whiz, Karkat! I’ll leave you to your own fucking devices, I’m sure it’ll work out for you, even though usually the chances of something working out for you is as likely as me bathing in the largest fucking vat of crushed cinnamon’. And then you remind me of our lunch and hop off to tell the student council everything that’s wrong in this world.”

“I don’t recall ever saying such a thing.” She cleared her throat, and spoke slowly. “I… _I’m_ happy. Vriska is the best thing that has ever happened to me. And Jade Harley… I could be wrong, but she might just be the girl for you. I want you to feel what I do.”

Karkat stared for a moment. He sniffled, looking out the window, running his tongue over the sharp edges of his teeth.

“Thanks.” He coughed. From the corner of his eye, he saw Kanaya nod, smiling.

She stopped the car a moment later. It was dark now, and Kanaya leaned over to straighten Karkat’s shirt. He swatted her away.

“I’m just trying to make you look presentable.” She said to him. “Now, it’s number 4, on the right hand side. Remember, if someone else answers the door, you ask for Jade _politely_. Say ‘please’ and ‘thankyou’ if she invites you in. Don’t be disheartened if she isn’t there, alright? We can just come back another time. Okay, off you go.”

Suddenly, Karkat’s throat went stiff. He gripped the pizza box much harder than necessary when he snapped his head to Kanaya and said:

“I don’t think I can do this, Kanaya!” She rolled her eyes at his sudden negative attitude. “What if she hates me?!”

“If there’s one thing I’ve learnt from all my year’s being educated at that school, it isn’t the square root of pi; it’s that Jade Harley is down-right incapable of hating anyone. Now get out of my car this instant before I ask the girl out myself.”

Karkat was at a loss for words at Kanaya making a joke, but it was enough for him to get a move on.

With the pizza box leaning against his hip, Karkat made a silent approach along a cobblestone path, toward her red door. It was the only coloured part of the house; the rest of it was a pristine white. The garden was picturesque. The lawn was finely trimmed, and lined with roses neatly on the edge.

He felt utterly hopeless in this setting, and wondered if it was possible for him ever to find belonging in a place like this. But the thought of seeing _her_ was the force pushing him to press a finger to the doorbell. The neighbourhood was painfully silent as he waited.

The door opened, and Karkat took a deep breath as he prepared himself. This was it. Finally, after all this time, he would see the face of his Jade Harl-

Dave Strider answered the door, his face plain, and his body relaxed. When he saw who was waiting at the door with a box of pizza and a quickly dying hope, he grinned.

“You’ve got nerve, I’ll give you that.” He said, stepping out and closing the door behind him.

“Just my luck.” Karkat spat. “Why the fuck are you even here?”

“I think the question is why are _you_ here, after I pretty specifically told you to stay away. Or didn’t I make that clear enough?”

“For fuck’s sake, you have a girlfriend. Why won’t you just let me see her? _Please?_ ” The word was strange and bitter on his tongue.

Karkat waited desperately for a response, but Dave laughed.

He _laughed_.

And a moment later, he took a step toward Karkat and pushed him. Karkat stumbled backwards, barely managing to keep his balance.

“You really need to learn the meaning of the word no, dude.” He pulled the pizza box out of Karkat’s grasp. “Gimme that. Hawaiian? Jade’s favourite. You’d know, of course. Now get out of here, kid.”

Dave turned, ready to head back in to the house, but Karkat wasn’t giving up that easy. He believed in few things; himself being one that he thought he never could. Jade made him doubt his self-loathing. Karkat had believed this an impossible task not so long ago. He refused to let go of the feeling that made him see that he was worth it, to someone, at least.

“I’m not giving up on her that easy!” Karkat yelled. “You can’t guard her house forever! I’ll just keep coming back, you know.”

Dave stared at him through his dark glasses for half a minute, before sighing, and turning to him fully.

“Look, kid-“

“Karkat.”

“… Karkat, then.” He stepped towards him, but less menacingly this time. “I didn’t want it to have to come to this but… it seems you’re tougher than I thought.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Karkat demanded, and Dave put up a hand, as if in surrender.

“Jade invited me here just in case this of this exact situation.” When Karkat said nothing, Dave continued. “She doesn’t want to talk to you. Get it?”

“No… that’s not right, she gave me her address. Why would she do that unless-?”

“She knew it was you at The Veil the other day. She just didn’t say anything because she didn’t realise you were so… ‘scary-looking’, as she put it.” He sighed. “She gave you her address because she thought it would be fun to see what you would do. But after seeing what you actually looked like, things changed. She told me to send you away the other day because she didn’t want to talk to you. She doesn’t want to talk to you. She’s had me here the last few days just in case you appeared. You were just an experiment, Karkat. You’re nothing to her. You’re nothing hands down. You’re pathetic. Now, for the last time. _Go. Home_.”

His words hit him like bullets, sinking deep into his skin. Mental pain was exploding inside of him, so strong that it was almost physical. He could feel everything he’d hoped, all the progress he’d made, all those feelings he’d so tightly held on to, pouring out of his wounds like blood.

_It was like he was dying._

He stumbled away from the boy, from the house, from everything. He needed to escape.

Karkat saw Kanaya’s car, but didn’t stop.

He had no idea where he was going, but he didn’t stop, even when his limbs were exploding with pain, and his throat was on fire. He was running so fast that eventually his body gave in, and he felt himself falling, collapsing on the footpath.

Both knees exploded with pain when they came in contact with the ground, and he could feel his hands scrape in attempt to stop himself in vain. His head hit so hard that for a moment everything went white.

Karkat lay on the ground, in the dark, broken.

After a minute of two, he pulled himself into a sitting position, his entire body aching, and he felt his forehead. It was wet with blood. He wiped it on his shirt, still breathing hard. When he saw his hands, torn from the gravel, he simply lost his control.

He coughed slightly, and began to cry so heavily that he was choking, smashing his fists into the ground beside him. He was angry. He was just so angry because

Fuck.

_Fuck._

“FUUUUCK!” He screamed, trying to release everything inside him, until there was nothing left. But he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t let her go. He couldn’t help it.

She still held a place in his heart.

~~~

Jade heard the doorbell, and jumped up in excitement. She did this every time someone arrived at her house lately. She couldn’t help it. Because there was always a possibility that it was Karkat.

“I’ll get it.” Dave told her, making for the door before she even had the chance. She wanted to object, but she didn’t want him knowing why she was so eager, and cause another argument between the two of them.

She was disgusted by what he’d said to her, but after his speech at The Veil not long ago, she couldn’t help but let him in again. She’d given it a lot of thought and texted Dave only a few hours ago to tell him she’d made up her mind, and was giving him one last chance. So tonight he was over, for the first time since they’d met at the café, and even though it was tense, they were doing alright.

Jade took a seat on the couch while she waited for Dave, with Karkat running through her mind. When they actually meet, what would she do? What would _he_ do? Would he hug her? Would he… kiss her? She knew this was ridiculous, but Jade couldn’t help making up fantasy situations in her head of what it would be like. Of her being swept into his arms. Of him stealing her away, and saving her. Becoming her knight. The knight that once, what seemed so long ago now, was Dave.  

But Jade just couldn’t see him in that light anymore.

She heard the door close, and glanced around the corner.

“Who was that?” She asked, hopeful.

“Pizza, of course.” He replied, shaking the box, and putting it on the table. “What is a movie night without pizza?”

 She flipped open the lid, and smiled.

“Hawaiian.” Jade said approvingly. “My favourite.”

 ~~~

Everything seemed harder for Karkat now. It was like everything he did was a struggle, even the simple things. He felt rusty, and heavy.

The girl who had made him feel light was now weighing him down.

He could feel himself slipping. He didn’t want to, but he couldn’t avoid it. He was slipping back into that dark, awful place that he was before Jade. Or maybe, a place even worse.

Seventeen days. Four hundred and eight hours. He thought that keeping tabs on how long it had been would make him feel better, like he was getting further away from that memory. But it didn’t help at all. It just made him feel worse. It made Karkat scared to know that all this time hadn’t fixed anything. Could he ever forget?

He dragged himself to the car at seven in the evening; a time he was sure no student would be left at the school. He hadn’t been there since it had happened, and even though he was undoubtedly fired because of his absence, Karkat knew he had to make it official and hand in his official resignation.

But, not surprisingly, he found himself in the classroom. Her classroom. Just one last time he needed to see it. The place made him sick to his stomach. This place he’d loved was suddenly awful. He hated the white walls. He hated the pink, evening light. He hated all of it.

Karkat looked towards the crevice in the wall where they had hid their notes, expecting to see it empty.

But it was overflowing. It was so full that notes were literally falling out of it.

hey karkat!!! how was your weekend? have you thought about paying me a visit at all?? (; hope to see you soon!

karkat, are you sick? you havent replied for a while………. well get better soon okay???

whats up with you??? its almost been a week im getting worried!!! please give me some idea youre alright!! D:

They were all like this, feigning worry. Karkat’s hands scrunched into fists, crumpling the paper inside them. She didn’t know about his conversation with Dave. She didn’t know that _he_ knew what she was doing. Jade was fucking with him, and he’d had enough. She could hurt him, and steal everything from him, but she could not make a fool of him like this.

WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! YOU CAN’T PRETEND ANYMORE, HARLEY. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU’VE DONE. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU THINK OF ME, YOU FUCKASS! YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON, YOU KNOW THAT? STOP WRITING TO ME AND ACTING LIKE I’M SOMETHING IMPORTANT. JUST STOP. STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, YOU ASS, YOU LYING LITTLE FUCK.

It wouldn’t matter if she replied or not, because he’d never know. Karkat was never coming back to this place, or it would be the death of him.

~~~

Kanaya Maryam was not surprised to find out that Karkat had quit his job. His text telling her this was the first communication that had occurred since the night she’d found him on the side of the road, after hours of searching.

Kanaya dealt with a lot having him as a morail, but she had only ever seen him that distraught twice in their relationship. The only other time was when his guardian had died, and she prayed that she’d never have to see him in that condition.

Honestly, she was scared. Kanaya was unsure if he even remembered that night, after Jade’s house. He had been half collapsed on the path, covered in blood, and as she had gently supported him into the car and drove him home, he hadn’t said a word. He hadn’t shown any sign of awareness. He was just… blank.

She’d cleaned him up, and put him to bed. For the following days she was terrified to enter his house in case of what she’d find, so she just drove past his residence, waited for a sign of his presence, and continued on to school. Karkat was absolutely destroyed by whatever had happened, but being who she was, she didn’t press him about it. It was her philosophy that before someone talked to someone else about an occurrence, they needed to come to terms with it _themselves_.

And Kanaya just could not believe that Jade Harley could possibly have caused this.

Her suspicions were confirmed when she found the girl sitting on the floor of her empty classroom, and hour after school had finished, staring at a note.

“Jade?” Kanaya had forgotten her science textbook, so was fetching it after her student council meeting, but saw her just by chance in her side vision. She had mixed feelings toward her at that current moment, all things considered. “Classes ceased an hour ago. You’re welcome to go home.”

“Yeah, I know. Sorry, I’ll get out of here.” But she didn’t move. Her voice sounded aggravated. Kanaya placed her bag on the floor just outside the room, and took a few steps toward Jade, who was still staring at the paper in her hand.

“Are you… alright?” She asked, kneeling on the floor in front of her. “Because you certainly don’t seem it.”

When Jade didn’t say anything, Kanaya pulled the note out of her hand, and read it.

“… I see.”

“I don’t know what I did!” Jade yelled suddenly, throwing her hands in the air. “I’ve never even met the guy, and then he doesn’t talk to me for ages, making me think he’d dead or something, and today he replies with _that_!”

“Karkat Vantas.” Kanaya said, and Jade stopped to look at her.

“You know him?!”

“Oh yes, quite well.” She admitted. “And I know about your notes, too.”

Jade gaped at her, staring through those large specs, her long eyelashes fluttering with surprise.

“Kanaya, do you know why he wrote that?!” Jade asked. “Please, I’m just so _confused_ … I have no idea what to do, he’s not going to talk to me obviously… God he makes me so mad!”

Kanaya placed a hand on her shoulder, and asked for a pen. Jade pulled one out and handed it to her, watching intently whilst Kanaya scribbled Karkat’s address onto the back of the note. She folded it neatly, and as she handed it to Jade, she spoke.

“I like you, Jade.” Kanaya said. “I think quite highly of you, and I think that of few people. Believe when I say that Karkat is a handful, as you probably know by now. He’s been through a lot in his life and you… you make him happy. Anyone can see that. So I want the two of you to make things right.”

Jade cautiously took the address from her, handling it carefully like it was extremely fragile. She looked up to Kanaya, and smiled.

“Thank you Kanaya.” She said. “I’ll try, I promise.”

~~~

Karkat had hated his doorbell since he was young. He remembered whenever it had rung when he was little, he’d throw a fit and yell like it was Armageddon. He sighed at the memory. He had been a painful child.

Even now he hated it. It was so abrupt and painfully loud. Croaky, like his voice.

For the first seven rings, he didn’t move from his bed, where he was laying fully clothed. On the eighteenth, he growled as he pulled himself off it and stomped toward the door.

“Yeah shut up, I can hear you!” He yelled at whoever stood on the other side, as he undid several locks. He pulled it open with a huff, and looked up into the face of

Jade Harley.

His face formed into one of pure surprise and shock, and he heard a ringing in his ears as he breathed inwardly.

She was his height, if not slightly taller. Slim, the lines of her curves smoothly followed her silhouette along her hips and into her thin waist. Her arms were long, and almost lanky, but her facial complexion took the focus off them.

She had a young face, and her skin was fair and soft. Her dark hair fell gently around her distinct cheekbones, which seemed almost… new, like her face was only just adjusting to them, and she was breaking out of her shell. But her eyes… they were big and dazzling, literally sparkling from the glare shining through the glass of her large spectacles. Her lashes were naturally long and luscious, so dark that they immediately stood out, lighting up her face.

For the love of God, she was _beautiful_.

Jade looked him up and down, then her face screwed into a frown as she punched him in the face. Hard.

Of all the scenarios of their meeting that had run through his head, he had never expected it to turn out like this.

Holding his throbbing cheek, he looked back at Jade, anger engulfing him once more.

“What. The. Fuck.” Karkat said. “Why the fuck are you at my house!? How did you even get my address?!”

“Is that all you have to say?” Jade yelled back. “I thought after losing your shit for absolutely no reason is certainly something to apologise for, don’t you think?!”

“Apologise?!” Karkat yelled, following Jade out of the doorway and into his front yard. “I owe you nothing, Harley. Don’t fucking act like you did nothing, I can see through your charade!”

“You’re doing it again!” She threw her hands into the air, animating her anger. “You’re just blaming me for something I didn’t do! I don’t even know what you’re accusing me of!”

“Let me ask you something, Harley, alright?” Karkat said, coming closer to her. “What did you think this would prove? That all humans are assholes? Because well fucking done! You definitely can tick that off the list!”

“Shut up, fuck ass!” She screamed. “Urgh, why am I even trying! I wanted to be your friend, what did you think?! I thought this was special!”

“Yeah, so did I! I thought you were special, _Jade_.” He spat her name menacingly. “But you’re not. You are exactly like all the other fuckers out there who are killing this world. Why can’t you just leave well enough alone? And next time, when you make a mess and just DESTROY SOMEONE’S LIFE, at least have the decency to clean up after yourself and not hide behind your shady little boyfriend or whatever.”

“Now you’re not even making sense!” Jade yelled in reply. “Fuck, Karkat! Fuck! What are we even doing anymore?!”

“I don’t fucking know.” Karkat said, speaking much quieter that before. “I really did want… but you’re just making my life harder than it already is. I don’t want to fight you. I don’t want to ever talk to you again.”

When he looked at Jade, he saw tears in her eyes. Only she could make him feel bad for something she had done. But he kept his face strong. He wasn’t giving in this time.

“Fine.” Jade whispered, trying to hold in the tears. “I can see you’re busy trying to make something of yourself, so I’ll just leave. Have a nice life, Karkat.”

She walked away, and as he watched her go, he could feel her name on the tip of his tongue. He could feel it forming on his lips, ready to yell _come back_ , _don’t leave me_. But she got into her car, and drove away.

Karkat was sure that after facing her, seeing her physically and talking to her, he’d be able to let her go. But he was wrong once again, no surprise. It just made the ache fresh in his chest.

Karkat stood there in the cold, staring at the empty space where her car had disappeared around the corner moments ago. Kanaya appeared minutes later, and walked up to stand beside him.

“His name’s Dave Strider.” Karkat said, sighing. He told her everything. What had happened at The Veil, and what had happened at her house that night, in attempt to clear his mind. When he was done, Kanaya took his hand.

“I know you think this is Jade’s fault, but from an outsider’s point of view, it’s obvious tha-“

“Wait, hold the fuck up.” Karkat said, pulling his hand from Kanaya’s grasp. “You’re defending her?”

She blinked twice, and nodded.

“I don’t fucking believe this.” He laughed. “Were you not listening to a word I just said?!”

“Karkat-”

“You gave her my address, didn’t you!?” He yelled, disgusted.

“I was trying to help-”

“News flash, Kanaya! Whenever you try to help, it makes a bad situation into a literal lump of shit!”

Karkat stormed into the house, locking the door behind him.

~~~

He lay in bed that night in the dark with his head too full to make sense of anything he was angry he was sad he was guilty he was so frustrated he just wanted to see her again one more time no that’s stupid you hate her she used you she is just like the others you don’t deserve anyone like her she was special she didn’t mean it you have to apologise just go to her you want to kiss her you still like the girl who are you kidding you’re fucking in love with her you’re sinking into a dark hole and everything surrounding you is an abyss and you’re falling apart at the seams and you’re insides hurt so bad oh god you just want to escape you have to get out you hate yourself I hate everything about me but I Jade is everything good and everything that I’m not and she can save me but I’ll never see her again because I never gave her a chance to explain I don’t want to feel like this why is it so hard it’s so fucking hard and

_I_

_Never_

_Wanted_

_This._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SENSE. THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS NONE.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so sorry it took so long!!!! school has started so it gets harder to write bleh. finally. anyway, as youll find out, a new character arrives in this chapter that im not as well practised at writing as i am with some others, so im sorry if its not very good. i love constructive criticism, hope you enjoy!!

Dave rubbed his hands together as he arrived at the door to his apartment building. The days were finally cooling down; he preferred the winter. He lived in the heart of the city, where the streets were tight knit and everything was packed close together, and the choking fumes of cars and trains and heartbroken people made the heat twice as overwhelming. Most of the summer months were spent (if he couldn’t find one of his friends’ houses to crash at, that is) stripped down to his underwear, lying on the floor trying to find some sort of cool escape. So naturally, it wasn’t his favourite time of year.

He started the ascent to his floor, reminiscing about the past winters, and looking forward to the coming ones.

He unlocked the door, peeling off his jacket. His date with Terezi certainly had been an interesting one; he’d seen some guy accidentally drop twenty bucks, and Dave had returned it to him without a second thought. Terezi had spent the rest of the day chanting in his ear “Do you like men, David? Hey Dave, are you attracted to boys? Are you gay, Dave? Dave, are you gay?” 

He chuckled at the thought, and hung his jacket over the back of a chair.

“Gooooooood afternoon, Mister Strider.”

Dave jumped, turning so fast that his knee hit the table leg and buckled. He let out a short yelp, and grabbed the bench to balance himself. He looked over to where the sound came from, and saw none other than Vriska Serket spread out on the couch. She lay with that wide, devious smile pasted on her face, an air of mischief simply radiating off her. Her hands were folded behind her head, and when Dave turned to her, she gave a stretch, her grotty shoes getting dirt all over the furniture, and adjusted into a sitting position.

They’d never spoken, but he knew of her. Everyone did. At Landings High (Where you earn your title!), she was infamous.

“Shit!” Dave exclaimed. “How did you get in here?”

“That’s no way to welcome your guest!” She said, standing and taking eventual steps closer to Dave.

“Look, I’m not here for pleasantries.” Vriska admitted, accentuating every second word. “I have business to discuss with you. There’s something that needs fixing, and I need your help whether you like it or not.”

“Look you can’t just come in here an-”

“Oh, get ooooooover it, Dave!” She sighed, grabbing his collar and pulling him so close that he could feel her hot, damp, breath on his lips. Vriska licked her own with the tip of her long tongue, and then viciously took his shoulders and forced him into a seat at the table. She walked around and took her own, getting comfortable. Dave could tell he was going to be there for a while when she stated confidently: “Let’s talk.”

~~~

_ A week or so in the past _

It took her several days to notice the difference, and it happened while the two of them were making out. A light flicked in her head when she realised that Kanaya just wasn’t herself lately. It hadn’t taken Vriska long to discover that despite her sophisticated demeanour, her newly found matesprit was an _excellent_ kisser; she perfectly balanced Vriska’s own frisky nature in the act of passion. But lately she seemed… dry.

Vriska had pulled away when her head told her that maybe, something was wrong.

She sat at the table, twisting her lips with confusion on how to approach the situation. Kanaya slid her hand along her shoulder as she passed Vriska, holding a cup of tea, and joined her where she was sitting. Vriska watched Kanaya carefully, with narrowed eyes.

 _Okay Vriska, you can do this,_ she told herself. _You can totally pull this off. Be “nice” or whatever. And… what’s that word? Oh, yeah. Gentle._

“Did someone fucking die or something, Fussy Fangs?” She asked. “Geez, you’re acting like even more of an undertaker than usual.” _Ah. Smooth._

Kanaya’s head jerked out of her day dream, and she furrowed her eyebrows.

“Oh. I’m sorry. I was slightly distracted.” She admitted, but immediately went back to brooding, this time staring into her tea. Vriska rolled her eyes, scratching the back of her neck, and repositioning her hands several times before she opened her mouth once more. 

“As your matesprit I think it’s my given right to at least know what’s going on.” She said, tightening her lips. At this, Kanaya lifted her head to look at Vriska, with soft, surprised, eyes.

“Are… you attempting to inquire about what is ungrounding me?” She suggested, like it was completely unheard of.

“Oh Kanaya, why do you treat me like I’m completely incapable of being nice?” Vriska spat, sliding her chair closer to her. Kanaya spurted; it was the closest thing to a laugh that Vriska had ever seen her attempt.

“Because you are incapable of being nice.” She giggled, and Vriska couldn’t help it when her mouth formed a wide smirk. She loved it when Kanaya was like this, and it was so rare. She always felt an overwhelming sense of achievement that she simply adored when she made Kanaya smile.

And so, Kanaya did tell her what was up, and Vriska listened through the entire story. Every now and then, Kanaya would stop speaking, to glance at her and see if she was still listening. And despite her need to fidget or comment or just _kiss those lips god dammit,_ she resisted, and listened.

Because if there was one person Vriska could listen to, it was her.

_ Present _

It was with Kanaya in her mind that Vriska had stormed the Strider residence without her knowledge, and demanded that Dave tell this ‘Jade’ girl the truth.

“How do you even know about that?” Dave had asked. Vriska had laughed.

“It doesn’t matter _how_ I know. You should just be grateful that the great Vriska Serket is saving your ass.” She had told him. When his face remained completely blank, she also added quietly. “Also Kanaya Maryam is my matesprit.” She’d then watched as his face had sunk with realisation and where he’d gone wrong.

She’d left him to mope, mentally high-fiving herself for her success with her first task. The second she knew wouldn’t be as simple, but just as fun.

Vriska knocked on Karkat Vantas’s door, a continuous knock until she could hear him fiddling with the locks, muttering under his breath. When the door swung open and he saw her standing there, he sputtered, then stopped to stare at Vriska, wide eyed.

“Well it’s nice to see you too!” She said, pushing past him and into his house. He heard him following her, close at her heels.

Vriska only knew Karkat because of their run-ins at The Veil; the usually started with Kanaya introducing them for the eighth time, and ended in shouting and broken glass.

“Vriska what the fuck are you doing in my house?! Get out!” He yelled, trying to slip in front of her, but she remained in the lead, and did until she reached his kitchen, where she dropped her bag on the worn counter, and stared around her. He stared at Karkat; he wore an expression that mirrored his obvious lethargic manner, and it was just generally sad. He looked broken. Vriska recognised it only because it was the same Kanaya was weary lately. If not for her, she wouldn’t have noticed even slightly.

“Wow Karkat. Wooooooow.” She said to him. “This place is even crappier than I expected!”

“Did you hear me, bitch?!” He yelled. She cringed.

“Bitch? Ouch. That hurt, Karkat. My heart, is brea-oh wait no, it’s laughing at your weakness.”

Karkat slouched, sitting down, recognising defeat, and mumbled: “What do you want?”

“Since you’re obviously not up for a chat, I’ll get straight to the point.” Vriska said. “That girl you have a massive lesbian crush on? She’s madly in love with you and you’re basically an idiot for not realising the obvious, being that Strider set you up.”

It took him a moment to take it all in. Then all at once, his mouth dropped open and he gasped, sputtering in an attempt to speak. Eventually he gave up on forming a sentence, shook his hands around like some interpretive dance. When he finally calmed down, he managed one word.

“What…”

“You heard me!” Vriska said, grabbing his shirt, lifting him into a standing position, and shaking him vigorously. “I made the effort to come here and fix this mess up, you should at least be thankful!”

“I can’t believe this.” He said, pulling himself free from Vriska’s grip. “I- fuck. I thought she… She’ll never listen to me after everything I said to her! Kanaya was… she was just trying to help. Shit, now I’ve fucked that up too! FUCKING… fuck…”

Vriska rolled her head to the side, bored.

“Yeah, you’re pretty much a douchebag.” She told him. “What are waiting for? Go make up or whatever!”

“I can’t ju-” He stopped, glaring at Vriska. “Why the hell are you helping me?!”

“Sheesh, no one is appreciative these days!” She replied. “Can’t you just accept it and _kiss the girl?!_ ”

“It’s for Kanaya isn’t it?” Karkat said, laughing. “So you do have a heart! I thought it was just an empty space in there.”

Vriska hated watching Karkat laugh sarcastically at her blushing blue cheeks.

“Shut the fuck up!” She yelled back. “It’s your fault that she’s acting all mopey!”

Karkat’s face dropped and he put his hands up, raising his eyebrows.

“Jees Vriska, I was kidding, no need to flip your shit.” He said, and Vriska crossed her arms angrily, turning away from him.

“I just want her to… it makes me happy when she’s happy…” She mumbled quietly, almost to herself, like she was admitting it. She felt her face get even bluer, and she turned quickly again. “Not like this is any of your business!”

With this she picked up her bag, and stood above Karkat, glaring at him.

“Just go and make out with the girl so that _my_ girl picks up her slack, alright?” She spat, storming along the hall and out the door, Karkat staring wide-eyed after her.

 

~~~

“Jade, I need to tell you something.”

He’d invited him over not seven minutes after his unexpected visitor, and this was the first thing he said when he opened the door. Jade raised her eyebrows, and smiled, slipping past him.

“Um, okay…” She said. “I’ve never heard you start a conversation so willingly before, Dave!”

“Yeah.” He agreed. “It’s… shit if I put it off any longer,  I’m not gonna have the balls to go through with it.” Jade realised it was serious then, because her face became solid, and her shoulders tightened. “Can you uh… sit down?”

“Dave, you’re scaring me…”

“Before I say this, I need to apologise in advance.” He said, pacing in front of the couch where she was now sitting. “Uh… I know that you gave me second chances. I know I’m a total, complete fuck head. You don’t have to tell me. So I understand if you don’t wanna be friends or whatever…”

“Dave, spit it out.”

He took a deep breath, letting it out in one sentence. Once he was finished, he kept his eyes closed for a minute, waiting for the rage, the fury, the storm of Jade Harley. But when nothing happened, he slowly opened them. She was sitting with her head down on the couch, her fringe falling over her face and blocking it out of his vision. She sat with both hands folded in her lap, completely still and silent. _Oh, shit…_

“Harley…” He said warily. “Jade?”

She raised her head, and pasted on her face so vividly, was the widest smile he’d ever seen her wear. She jumped up, laughing happily, jumping towards him and pulling him tight into a hug.

“Dave that is the best news I’ve ever heard thank you, thank you!” She giggled.

“Are you… crying?” He asked, and she pulled away, wiping a tear off her face and giving a teary chuckle. She stared at her hand for a moment, then as if it reminded her, she slapped Dave in the face.

“You’re a dick!” She said cheerfully, and pulled her bag over her shoulder, quickly buttoning her coat, and striding to the door. Dave scratched his head.

“So… you’re not mad at me?”

Jade laughed.

“Of course I’m mad at you!” She told him, still in high spirits. “But no one else is willing to be your best friend, so the job is up to me! Through thick and thin…”

Jade scurried out the door, running down the stair case. Dave ran to look from his floor, to see her taking two steps at a time.

“Where are you going!?” He yelled.

“You’re even dumber than you look, David!” She yelled back, her voice bouncing off the walls. When he could hear that she was gone, he leaned back against the wall, pulled off his shades, and laughed.


	8. Chapter 8

It was a dark evening, nearing night. The sky was pasted with a blanket of thick, dark, grey that turned the colours dull, and thunder was constant, warning Jade of the coming storm; it would be the first of this winter. She pulled her coat close as she escaped Dave’s apartment, and climbed into her car.

Her tears were warm and welcoming as they rolled down her face. She gripped the steering wheel, shaking with joy. Jade couldn’t recall every being this happy in her life. In fact, she couldn’t recall feeling this way at all. The feeling taking over her, coursing through her veins, lighting up her face, was new and unfamiliar. But _God,_ it was so _good_. She never wanted to stop feeling this overwhelming exuberance. It was because of him, all of this. The draining feeling weighing her down was suddenly lifted, because of the thought of seeing him again.

She laughed aloud, alone in her car, thinking to herself, _Karkat Vantas, I’m coming home to you._

~~~

“FUCK!” The word escaped his lips over and over. Karkat yelled as he turned over his room, taking out his bubbling anger at himself. He threw the lamp at his wall. He screamed, forcing his desk onto its side. He pulled books and clothes from his drawers and littered them over the room, unable to contain everything that was inside him. He had finally been pushed over the edge.

He’d lost everything.

His family.

His best friend.

The girl he cared for, who had all along, cared for him as well.

_Jade._

At the thought of her, he grabbed his phone and threw it through the window, breaking it. The glass fell around him, and he stared down at the shattered pieces, vaguely seeing his own reflection.

He backed away, until his back hit the wall, and he slid down it. He closed his eyes tight, barred his teeth, but the sob escaped him nonetheless. As he felt his vision blur, he smashed his fists against the wall behind him.

“Fuck.” _Thump._

“ _Fuck._ ” _Thump._

_“FUCK!” CRASH._

He felt his pin board that hung on the wall above him, crash on top of him. He shoved it off, and felt panic consume him. All of Jade’s note, each one that had been pinned to it had fallen from it. In his state, all he could think was _everything is falling apart._ But, he felt his heart slow when he saw one note, which had landed in his lap.

He picked it up gradually, running his fingers over her faded words. He didn’t need to read it, really. This one he’d learned off by heart.

hey karkat! I understand if youre kind of nervous about meeting… so am I actually!!! so, im not gonna pressure you into anything, but im giving you my address. its on the back. i trust you. just… if you ever wanna talk face to face, im here. ill… wait for you, karkat. until youre ready (:

_Until… I’m ready?_

_Don’t give up on your girl,_ Kanaya’s voice echoed in his head. He knew know what she’d really been telling him, all those weeks ago. _Don’t give up on her as quickly as you give up on others. Don’t. Give. Up._

_I’ll wait for you, Karkat._

He ran his hand through his hair, scurrying into a standing position. Breathing hard, with wide eyes, he finally knew what Jade had been waiting for all along.

_I’m ready._

He slid the note into his jeans, and grabbing his keys and coat in one smooth motion, he ran out of his house, into the pouring rain, and into his car.

~~~

The rain fell heavily on Jade’s car, as the windscreen wipers did their best to keep the water at bay. The storm had arrived with a fury, and the streets, in this area particularly, were empty.

She saw a car up ahead, coming in her direction, its lights blurred. She squinted at it, and for a split second, just as it passed her, she saw the face of who was behind the wheel. They came into eye contact for a split second before each car passed the other, and the vehicle came to a screeched halt.

_Karkat._

Jade pulled open her door and stumbled out the door. The rain was so heavy that she was soaked within seconds. She saw his car stopped not far behind her, and she could see him coming towards her. She began to jog, feeling her heart racing, her body warming despite the cold just because he was so close. Soon she could reach out and touch him, as they both ran towards each other and

She felt his hands take her face as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and he pressed his lips against hers. The soft touch of his mouth as he pulled her close was everywhere she ever felt she needed to be. Her eyes were closed, but she could feel everything around her glistening in the rain, and so was she. Jade was radiating. Their bodies were so close, but it was like she could never get enough. _Calm,_ she told herself. _I have time._

And all at once it dawned on her that she did. They had the time to hold each other, and talk to each other, and learn everything about one another, and just _be together._ She didn’t need to be alone again.

In unison, they pulled away. Karkat still held her face as they leaned their foreheads against each other. The two were both smiling.

She opened her eyes, and saw him watching her. In the middle of the wet road, in the temporarily silent world that seemed to belong to them, she spoke.

“Don’t look now, Karkat, but I think I might be in love.” She whispered. He chuckled slightly, and replied.

“That makes two of us.”

He pulled her close, into a tight hug, and she never wanted him to let her go. She was shivering but his warmth was all she needed.

Then suddenly then were kissing again, and she never wanted to leave this place.

~~~

That’s her that’s Jade in the car fuck I have to get out and get to her she’s actually there she’s running towards me I have to touch her I want to feel her body right next to me fuck the rain it’s freezing but it doesn’t matter because oh god that’s her I can feel her I can touch her and I’m kissing her she’s right there in front of me and I never want to let the fuck go I’m finally ready for you Jade I promise I’ll never make the same mistake again I’m just stupid that way shit your perfect and FUCK this is everything I ever wanted because she loves me she really loves me and hell am I in love with her I never want to let you go I need to hold you and know this is real but it is real you are right here and so am I and I can’t stop I have to kiss you again because you’re everything I swear and

_I_

_Always_

_Wanted_

_This._

 

~~~

That night, with their skin still slightly damp from the rain, they lay together in Karkat’s bed. They had peeled off their soaking clothes, and Karkat had lent Jade some loose pants and a shirt. The two lay next to each other, on top of the covers. Karkat spooned Jade, with his hand reached over her, resting on her waist. His hand sat upon hers, with their fingers entwined. Her body heat radiated off her, and that kept him warm.

It was strange, lying there with Jade. It was so perfect. Nothing seemed to be wrong. Of course there was Kanaya, but he would talk to her, and apologise. He felt like this night was a waste of time; like they should be awake, talking, doing something together. But at the same time, this was so calming. Just being together, for now, felt like enough. And as long as she was with him, he felt at home. At peace. Safe.

He was tired.

For the first time in years, Karkat slept completely soundly. No nightmares. No waking in a cold sweat. Just the brightest darkness he had ever faced.

When he awoke in the morning, the storm had passed, and a soft, yellow, light bathed the room. He almost panicked at the thought that Jade wouldn’t be there, but she was. She had awoken before he had, and was facing him, watching him with a smile, and those beautiful, green, eyes.

And Karkat never had to let them go. Because no matter how bad things got, Jade would always wait for him.

She’d wait for him when he did something stupid, and yelled at her for no apparent reason. He’d eventually apologise, and be able to look into those eyes again. And because Jade knew him, she’d understand.

She’d wait for him to come home when he left, and pretend it didn’t hurt seeing him walk away, knowing she wouldn’t see him for a while.

She’d wait when he was admitted to hospital after an incident with some high blood trolls.

And then, he’d have to wait for her. He’d have to wait for her as she walked down an aisle showered with petals, dressed in white that reflected her purity. And when she finally reaches him, she’ll nudge him slightly to stop him shaking from nervousness, and assure him everything is going to be fine. And eventually, Karkat will be able to pull back the veil covering her face and stare into those endless eyes, that literally sparkle, and he’d know in his heart that this was the right decision.

That this was where he belonged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's the end. I hope you all enjoyed it, I'm really sad to say goodbye!! I've really enjoyed writing it!! Well now I need something else to write, so if any of you would like to suggest a pairing or setting??? Again, pointing out typos and constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated!!! Follow me on tumblr, tokyo-sexwhale (:

**Author's Note:**

> In this fic, the human and troll relationships all mush into one, so trolls and humans can have matesprites and girlfriend's or boyfriends, because it is a society where all humans and trolls have learned to co operate as one. Also, trolls have GUARDIANS which is a term that I am going to use that is very vague and does not tell you if it is a lusus or a parent; you can decide for yourself ;D
> 
> And there will be more to come very soon!!!


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